I got a sales call at work today from Chase Manhattan, pushing a Southwest Airlines Visa card, because apparently the fact that I’ve ignored their almost weekly solicitations by mail led them to believe that I was just waiting for them to call me.

Sales calls at work are annoying, and of course I told the guy who called to put me on their no-call list forthwith…but that’s not the story. The story is that the guy, who had a very heavy Indian accent—when he went into the disclaimer spiel about their no-call procedure, I couldn’t understand everything he was saying, and I’m good with accents—and was almost certainly calling from India, began the call by saying, “My name is Jack Anderson.”

Um…no. No, it isn’t.

Seriously, what is the purpose of having offshore telemarketers use “all-American” names? Am I supposed to like the guy better because he doesn’t have some skeery furrin name, and therefore sign right up for the credit card that he’s shilling? Do they think that by having these employees use familiar-sounding names, they’ll get customers to overlook the heavy accents and incomplete grasp of English and think, “Oh, that Chase Manhattan is such a great company, they don’t outsource their entry-level jobs to India”?

The thing is, I wouldn’t have even noticed the name if he’d used his real one; telemarketers usually give their names, and I ignore them just like I ignore the rest of the spiel. Instead, I ended up thinking how creepy and really quite offensive it was that Chase won’t let its offshore employees use their own names. I truly cannot imagine what they were thinking when they came up with this policy.

Unless the explanation is simply that they’re idiots. That, I’ll buy.

I love memes. They’re the lazy blogger’s salvation, because they give you the opportunity to post without actually having to think much. Which is exactly what my heat-numbed brain needs.

My A-Z. Meme courtesy of Lauree on MySpace.

[A is for age]
44

[B is for beer of choice]
I don’t drink beer anymore, but I love Schlafly’s coffee stout.

[C is for career?]
Information architect/non-practicing librarian

[D is for your dog's name]
Diane (RIP).

[E is for events coming up]
My birthday in two weeks; John and Marie’s wedding in a couple of months.

[F is for favorite song at the moment]
“Since K Got Over Me,” of course.

[G is for gender]
Female.

[H is for Hometown]
New York, NY

[I is for the instrument you play]
Mandolin, not very well but better than guitar, which I play badly, and piano, which I used to play well but don’t get much chance to play anymore.

[J is for favorite flavor of juice]
Tomato or grapefruit, but I don’t really drink juice very often.

[K is for kids]
None, but two wonderful nephews (who are teenagers, not really kids anymore)

[L is for last hug]
Bill, of course.

[M is for marriage]
I like it so much I’ve done it twice.

[N is for name of your crush]
Too many to list, but Edward Norton and David Thewlis are the ones of longest standing, I think.

[O is for overnight hospital stays]
None so far, I’m happy to say.

[P is for phobias]
Rats are my only real phobia. I’m terrified of fire, and I don’t love flying, but those aren’t phobias, exactly.

[Q is for quote]
“That’s nothing to what I could say if I chose.”—Alice

[R is for radio station]
KDHX, baby

[S is for status]
Married, employed, alive.

[T is for time you woke up]
Just before 6 a.m., and then just before 7 a.m.

[U is for underwear]
Cotton.

[V is for vegetables you love]
Asparagus, especially, but pretty much all of them except okra.

[W is for worst habit]
Too many to list.

[X is for x-rays you've had]
Chest, once. Teeth. No others that I can recall.

[Y is for yummy food YOU make]
I make the world’s best brownies.

[Z is for your Zodiac sign]
Leo, of course.